Swine flu. Run for my life!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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