yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
