My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
