if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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