i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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