FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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