Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
