Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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