we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
