I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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