my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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