Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
