i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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