3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I cut my penus on the lid.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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