My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
