doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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