Your mouth is God's brothel.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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