Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
