Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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