also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just had sex bonerless
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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