1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So apparently I’m into choking now
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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