Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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