She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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