We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Your cock deserves a montage
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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