Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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