I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
