No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
