tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
