I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
