whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
