If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
