I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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