have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
