You smell like stripper and shame
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
