tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
did i just pee glitter
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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