Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
