i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
