As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
