went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
