The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
