nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
