so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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