Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
