no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
