ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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