she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
