My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
