Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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