ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
