spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
