Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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