Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
from now on my penis is your penis
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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