turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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